Walking out of my story
by the Devil in training
Summary: what would happen if a character in a book just... Walked out?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own anything except Thorn

**I do have permission from the creator of Emily and Courtney to use them.**

**Do you want to know more?**

**Please Review**

**Thorn's POV**

Now I know what I did was a little selfish but honestly, couldn't the mortals take care of themselves? Just for, like, 3 hours? And the useless "hero" Percy was who knows where, probably just taking a nap or something selfless and brave like that. Stupid Achilles heel.

Anyways, I was fighting off a freaking giant and two deamon cheerleaders and some monkey with a hammer, I really don't know where that came from. Suddenly I had a brilliant idea. Why don't I just walk out? Just leave the story and come back when I am good and ready. The villagers should just toughen up. Also, who lives in straw huts? You might just as well smother them with gasoline and but a sign on top that said "burn me."

Well, if I was going to do this I wouldn't be by myself. That's too boring, it was time t o call in the heavy artilirarys of chaos aka. Emily and Courtney from Hogwarts. If your wondering how I know them, well unless you want a five page essay about how it is impossible for a cat filled with helium to crash through a bullet proof window pane then go ahead I will gladly prove you wrong. Yeah… you might just wanna keep wondering.

When I got away from my story with out anyone noticing, (turns out that Zeus really likes cookies and is easily distracted by shiny metal objects) I zapped myself into the wizard's world.

**IT WAS PANDAMONIUM**


	2. Rules of the fairytails

**Sorry it took so long.**

**Enjoy, review, and long live the great purple socks.**

**I own none of the books that appear in this story.**

Thorn's POV

Professor Snape was running up and down the corridors screaming his head off and chasing the two girls running down the hall who were both screaming with laughter. Emily was carrying a frying pan and a large silver spoon.

"Dolohove?" I asked, nodding at the spoon. Emily smirked and Courtney grinned as Emily started banging the kitchen utensils together, making a long chorus of earsplitting bangs.

"Bellatrix!" Courtney screamed, pointing at the pan that Emily was still banging with the spoon.

"Alaska was that bad, huh?" I screamed back, unsurprised.

"Yup." They said together, then Emily chucked the pan and the spoon out of the window.

"Let me guess," I said, rolling my eyes. "Malfoy is in the closet, Yaxley's hair is blue, and Voldemort is banging his head on a wooden block?"

"Excuse me miss—thinks—she—knows—us." Emily scoffed.

"Actually, your completely wrong." Courtney said. "Malfoy is in the lake wrestling with the giant squid, Yaxley's hair is yellow with pink ponies and Voldemort is hitting himself in the head with a block of _cement,_ not wood."

"I am very sorry that I underestimated you two." I grinned at my friends.

"So what are we doing today?" Asked Courtney.

"Are we gonna see how much helium we can fit into a rat before it explodes?" Emily asked.

"We did that last weekend." Courtney replied, sounding exasperated.

"Worm tail hasn't been the same since." I sighed. "Anyways, we are going to torment people in other stories."

"KK." Courtney said. "Where are we going first?"

"It's a surprise."

WE DISAPPEARED

We poofed into our first story with a cloud of dust, coughing and hacking like crazy.

"Couldn't we do this without the poisonous gasses?" Emily coughed into the sleeve of her black robe.

"First, no I've tried, and second, I thought that you were a potion masters daughter."

"What does that have to do with a cloud of smoke?" Courtney choked.

"Good point."

"Where are we?" Emily asked.

"Well, some kids should randomly appear about now to go into a tree house which could contain all kinds of weird people, we are here to teach them about safety."

"True. It could be dangerous." Said Courtney, grinning. Just then, two children, they looked like brother and sister, walked into the clearing.

"OH!" The girl said "A tree house! Lets check it out!"

"Now children," I said in a condescending tone. They jumped. "You know very well that it could be dangerous to do that. What if someone was up there and tried to hurt you? Children aren't the only ones who build tree houses you know."

"I agree completely." Said Courtney. "We should explain to these poor, uneducated children about safety. Would you like to start Ms. Snape?"

"It would be my honor Ms. Snape." Emily replied. "Now children, I don't know what your family's insurance plan is, but I don't think that they could afford to fix a broken child."

"Most rarely do." I added. "We are starting a petition about it."

"Well said Ms. Xiuhcoatl. We will start with your basic introduction to fairy-tale assaulters. First off, one should not enter an unknown place without a can of mace or a 45."

"Note that 44 calibers will not work against most fairy-tale lurkers." Courtney added.

"Thank you for that piece of advice. Rule number two. One should not enter strange places period, if not completely necessary. Rule number three. If one has broken numbers one and two, which I'm sure you were about to, one should not touch anything in said strange place."

"Rule number four." Courtney picked up where Emily had left off. "One should not get in the car with any unknown stranger. Please note that this applies to non fairy-tail encounters as well. Rule number five. If you see a witch in a strange place, do not speak and/or make eye contact, after this one should back away slowly. Once out of strange place, on must run like heck and scream as loud as one can,"

"Rule number six." I said, grinning. "If at all possible, avoid places that start with 'once upon a time.' Rule number seven. Always keep a pencil and paper with you so that you can write down the safety lectures that are forced upon you. Before we go on, could one of you two conjure a projector?"

The two witches obliged.

"If you will watch this clip, it will provide a good example of what will happen to you if you do not follow these rules." I pulled up a short clip of _Hansel and Gretel._ See here how there is a 'once upon a time sign at the beginning, and yet these two children, much like yourselves continue with their journey?"

"Next, see how they walk into the candy house, without a can of mace or a 45? Bad idea children. Next, as we fast forward, you will see that they make eye contact with the witch and speak to her. Then they get eaten after all. You see children? This is what will happen. So go home, have a snack, and forget this tree house."

We disappeared, leaving the two little kids dumbstruck, their mouths wide open.

When we got to the next clearing, we were laughing so hard that we didn't realize where we were. Well, at first.


	3. A forest of mutants

Hi! I know I haven't updated in a while but I decided to do so for 'Insanity is my second name'. She is super cool, reviews a ton of my stories and points out constructive criticisms so a huge shout-out to her. Sorry for the references if anyone doesn't get them.

I do not own any of the youtube video's that appear in this story, nor do I own Hogwarts, PJO, or Twilight

Thorn's POV

After the three of us had stopped laughing, we all glanced around. We were in some kind of forest, and it was dark and misty. There was a snap of a twig from behind us and we simultaneously whipped around. There was a teenager standing before us. He had reddish –brown hair, sallow skin, and deeply set golden eyes. He was, in my opinion, creepy and unattractive. I didn't have the slightest idea who he was, but Emily and Courtney seemed to, because they shrieked with terror and pulled me behind a tree.

"Really guys?" I rolled my eyes. "A tree? Who is that going to fool? And who was the creepy guy?" Courtney looked queasy and it was Emily who answered.

"That," She said dramatically in a dark voice, "is Edward Cullen."

"And who would that be?" I prompted. Emily looked shocked and Courtney still looked as if she was about to throw up.

"Edward Cullen." Emily said the name as if it were something that tasted bad. "That stalker guy from the awful series _Twilight_." Twilight I had heard of. I had never read it, but there was a lot of news about riots or something over Bobert Peterson or whatever his name was.

"Could you explain a little more? I can't work with 'he's a stalker'. There is not much to say on that."

"Well, he watches dreadfully boring girls sleep…" Emily elaborated. "And he is super rich or something. He's supposed to be a vampire but no vampire sparkles in the sunlight. I think he's a mutant. He also says that he's a vegetarian because he only drinks the blood of animals and that is totally ridiculous. That just makes him not a cannibal. He lives with his adopted family or whatever."

"How do you know all this?" I asked curiously.

"I was browsing the internet when I came across the video series 'Alex reads twilight'. It's hilarious. He mocks it in as many ways as physically possible."

"Interesting. Wait, isn't he Cedric?" I asked, peering from behind the tree.

"Yes." Emily said darkly. "Now we know what the avada kadavra killing curse _really _does to people." I shuddered, the full impact of a sparkling, animal eating vegetarian, dead wizard starting to sink in. And with that happy thought, we swung out from behind a tree and turned to face this writing atrocity.

Sorry it's short. R&R please! I will be updating my other stories shortly.


	4. not really a chapter, but important

**PLEASE READ! IMPORTANT!**

Okay guys I am working on another chapter, but I won't be available for the next three weeks so I can't update. I will be in Europe, first France, then Italy. This notice is going up on all of my stories, so if you've read it once, you don't need to read it again. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, or read, my stories, I will resume writing as soon as I get back.


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